Whoever You May Be

I had just finished season 3 of Stranger Things last night. Cue The Who’s “Baba O’Riley”, and you’ve got me wishing I was living as a teenager in the 80s.

I’m still a romantic. I think I’ve always been. I used settle for text messages and the occasional meme drop through the DMs. But no, that’s not what I truly want.

I crave for phone calls that would go for hours on end. Check up on me and ask me how was your day. Spark my mind with innovative questions such as, “If you were to create a cereal that isn’t on the shelves, what would it be like?” Make me laugh with puns and dad jokes.

Let’s go for long walks on the beach, as cheesy as it is. However, let’s walk through these sandy shores during these summer nights. Without the bustling people around us. Just you and me.

Show up to my door and let’s go on a night drive. Turn up the speakers in the car, and let’s put these songs on shuffle. Can you guess the song that’s playing, mister?

I want to wake up next to you and get breakfast at a local diner, messed up hair and all. You’ll get pancakes and I’ll get waffles. We’ll split our stacks and trade so we can get the best of both worlds.

Sometimes life would get in the way, and you’d have to work late. We were supposed to go on a date. You call me to say you’re sorry and that you’d make it up to me by asking me to come over the next day to cook me some baked salmon.

I’m on my fourth set, and you’re spotting me. I doubt that I can hit the last two reps. As I struggle, you continue to cheer me on. I nail my set, and you tell me that you barely even touched the barbell.

You’ve got a midterm you’re studying for. I visit you for a few minutes to drop off a boba and wish you good luck in a little note to help you focus.

Take my hand and let’s dance under the moonlight. We could get a pair of AirPods, however silly those things are. You take the left bud and I’ll take the right. We’ll dance to our favorite slow RnB and acoustic jams all night.

Teach me a song you just came up with. Sing and play guitar as I harmonize with that voice of yours. Freestyle a verse or two and we’ll laugh at some of the ridiculous lyrics we come up with.

You’ve fallen asleep, so I kiss you goodnight. Tuck a pillow under your head so your neck wouldn’t stiffen up the next morning. I see that sweet smile on your face before I turn off the lights.

Some of these moments, if not most of them, have happened in my life. And in one way or another, they just stopped. And I wish they wouldn’t have. Perhaps he lost interest or wasn’t that into me. He finds a flaw, backs away, and picks up another option in the sea of fish that is online dating.

I want to spoil the heck out of you. Be your ride or die.

Whoever you may be. I wish you’d take a chance and have me.

I’m tired of this dating game bullshit.

We sift through these individuals one date at a time, hoping to find someone we’re meant to be with. But honestly, if we don’t take the other person seriously, or even invest deeper than just these casual interactions, what makes us think they’d do the same for us?

At the end of the day, I just want to love and be loved.

Time to Transfer

I can’t believe it! I finally did it! After years–yes, years–of searching, I have finally exported my 600+ Diaryland entries! You have no idea how much I wanted to get out of there! I thought I could just move to a different blog so easily, but the truth is, I couldn’t. I knew I wouldn’t be able to feel secure knowing that 8 years of my daily ramblings were left aside for a new home.

That’s right. You heard me. I’ve been blogging on the same blog for 8 years now. It would be about 9 years now since we’ve just entered the year 2010. You can just imagine how primitive blogging was back then. Much more was my teenage stupidity. Even though my writing style was utterly dorky, it poses much of a reference of how much I’ve grown these past few years.

My ticket to freedom relied heavily on the Diaryland exporting script from that Clayrhino website. I do remember that the website ceased to exist a couple of years ago. I thought I lost hope. But for some miracle, it was back. I could have just jumped for joy and screamed. Now I finally have more freedom with the HTML around here. Also, I do love the fact that I can categorize and tag my posts unlike before. So long Diaryland and hello WordPress!

So I woke up at five in the morning today. There is seriously something wrong with my body clock. This won’t help me much when I have to start school the next day. Technically, I am starting school tomorrow. Gosh, I don’t even have a class. LOL. I’m gonna enter campus the next day and fight for that English class (even if it means shooting the incoming students).

Even though I would just loathe to be in that class for the next five weeks of winter session, it’s something that I’ve got to do if I want to transfer. I can’t have myself sitting in junior college for four years. That would be like going through another round of high school. Three is enough!

I’m still unsure of where to transfer after junior college. Not only that, I still have money issues. I’m still uncertain about being eligible for financial aid. ‘Cause here’s the deal: I’ve figured that the poorer you are, the more probable it is for you to attend college. I don’t care what the statistics say! I think they’ve made an error in their ways!

The thing is, I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m poor. “Broke” would be a better term to describe that. I mean, my parents do make more than enough cash since they work extra hours. The problem here is that my mom has a spending problem, which I am very twitchy about. I mean, surely we have debts to pay and bills to clear out. Then again, doesn’t everybody? But once those are cleared out, I’m pretty sure the money earned for that could be used for something like–I don’t know–a word that seems to have been taken out of her vocabulary–savings. |:

But nooo, instead it gets funded into online shopping and the sorts. There was a month last year–I kid you not–that almost every other day, we had a package from FedEx laying at our doorstep. My mom gets into this whole deal of “saving” when she thinks it’s a good idea to purchase something when it’s on sale. Really, really?! Not when you’re buying more of the same thing! That’s like paying for the original price. Maybe even more if you’re not careful. -__-;

I recall that there was time last year when I had college fees due. I reminded her now and then that we needed to have the cash before Thanksgiving since registration for the next sem was around that period. The day draws near and what happens? Our supposed savings for my tuition was invested in a treadmill.

A treadmill?! You’ve got to be kidding me. You know what a cheaper and healthier option is? Walking. The best thing about it is that it doesn’t cost a cent! What was purely genius was that she spent five minutes a day at most on that contraption. Yeah, your calories aren’t going anywhere in five minutes.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my mom, but I’m not gonna go anywhere in life this way. This is why I’m stuck in junior college; I couldn’t afford getting into a university. Two years in junior college, I would supposedly have money for uni by now, but no. I would only hope to be eligible for financial aid. Please, oh please, give me money for college!

I hope to must transfer Fall ’11. Biola is out of the question with my current situation. My dear hopes rest in the UCs. I’m thinking about going to either UC Irvine, UCSD or UCLA. UC Berkeley, if I’m smart enough. Hah, I could only imagine though. My GPA is being dragged down by the likes of Calculus and Physics. Gladly, I was able to raise my GPA last semester after the horrid Physics 1A and Math 191 experience. Calculus in the summer; what was I thinking? Although it’s good to know that I’m ahead.

I’m terrified for this coming spring semester though. I’m going to be taking Math 270 and Physics 1B. This Calculus professor is rumored to be horrible at teaching; the deadly aspect that poisoned me during the summer. If the teacher sucks, I can’t learn. For Physics, I have the same professor as last spring. Great, just great. I guess I’ll be blowing my brains out if I want to maintain my GPA.

Our purpose in life is to go to college to get a job to pay for our college debts. In the end, once all our debts are paid, we can die happy. -Bryan

I swear, when Bryan told me that, I couldn’t help but LOL and believe there’s so much truth in that statement. I feel like after taking all these classes and get a degree, I won’t be good enough and end up working at Target. By that time, a teenage employee might even have a higher position because he’s been in the business longer than me. ROFL. Now that’s sad.

For the remainder of the day, I shall attempt to make myself useful. This does not include being on Facebook for no reason. lol. I’m still feeling lazy about picking up my guitar again. Still feeling uninspired. At the moment, I’m just tuning into some Gabe Bondoc songs; they’ve been on repeat for the past two hours. “Stronger Than” has to be my favorite. (:

Oh snap, I still have to prepare for school. Hah, I haven’t even touched my school bag since fall semester ended. You can totally tell I’m looking forward to tomorrow.