Social Networking Death

I hate how Facebook poisons the mind. Nowadays, whenever I log onto that website, it’s almost unbearable to go through people’s pages. Surely, it’s interesting to see what people are up to. But also, I wish I didn’t have to see them talk too much of themselves. Do they really have to post every single detail of their lives? I am eating a sandwich. I am sitting on a chair. Check-ins, I understand. If you’re posting something every five minutes or so, I think you’ve got a problem. Would you like me to stalk you? Save that for Twitter; even then, I wouldn’t be following you.

I despise the fact how some people’s relationship statuses change almost everyday. Yes, you’re single. Yeah, you’re in a relationship. You say “I love you” to him or her. Oh, what’s that? Did you guys just break up… again? As cliche as it may be, it gets on my nerves how people just loosely use those three words. Fancy photos of you making out, ey? No, thanks. I don’t need you greasing up my News Feed.

I loathe that society deems the idea that nothing is official unless it’s Facebook official. I know I’m just reiterating myself, but it’s true. Why must people question our happiness or exclusivity just because it hasn’t made the Top News? If you’re happy, you don’t need to rely on others’ opinions to confirm that you are. You shouldn’t question why you’re feeling that way. If you are, then you are. Awesome sauce, yo.

Social Networks have become another source of paranoia. You probably know what I’m talking about. You know you’ve overanalyzed things in the real world. The internet is no different, and it’s a severe disease.

As much as technology has aided us this past decade, I believe it’s taken over our means to communicate. It’s great that we can keep in touch with our compadres, but it takes away the utmost joy in seeing someone after a long time. It tests our patience with the real world and our dedication to one another. I remember back in the day when I knew I had to get picked up at a certain spot after school, I’d drop everything I did at that moment just to meet my dad; the lack of cellphones made this ideal. I remember when we didn’t have caller ID and my heart would race when I attempted to call a certain boy’s house, hoping that scene I played through my head would happen with him.

Face it. Everyone’s all up on everybody’s business.And this is why conversations have become no more than a “Cool Story, Bro.” Let’s all have a decent conversation and actually get to know each other.

What’s going on with you lately? Oh, just check my profile and that’s w’sup–end of conversation. And life as we know it. orz.

Fighting Food Comas

After listening to music for hours on end, I’m appreciating the silence. I’m fortunate enough to be able to listen to my iPod while I work everyday. Gladly. If I didn’t, I know I’d already have my face flat on the keyboard.

I figured out that I’m not an afternoon person this past summer. Around 3 to 4PM, my eyes begin to droop. I could’ve sworn I’ve fallen asleep for at least a minute or two. I must’ve had my hood on that day; I wasn’t caught.

Everyday has been a battle for those two specific hours. A tough one I must endure. What makes it even more difficult is that everyone at work is accustomed to having 2PM lunches.

Really? I mean really?! I have to fight a food coma and have an afternoon handicap?! Crazy, I tell you.

I’ve tried listening to 90s boyband music to keep me awake. That worked for two days. But I’m getting the feeling that I’m starting to become immune to it.

“Backstreet’s back, alright!”

Frequent bathroom breaks? Not really. I try not to spend too much time in there. People might think I’m doing ze number 2 when I’m really leaning on the bathroom wall and closing my eyes. I’m serious.

While I try to fight my sleep, I think about how fast summer has gone. Has it already been two months? It’s unbelievable how it’s almost August. As much as I want to get the internship done, I don’t want summer to end. I still have a lot of things to catch up on.

I’ve been thinking of revamping my old site. Keeping the blog here, I was wondering about making it a photo blog or a portfolio. All the editing skills I’ve learned these past few weeks have encouraged me to polish some of my memorable photos.

Camp’s coming up in six days. Time’s flying pretty fast, isn’t it? I need to pack up some gear since I’ll be away for a whole week. To be honest, I’m feeling mixed about camp. I know it’s going to be an awesome experience. But I can’t imagine how exhausted I’ll be after it. I remember that one winter camp with school following that weekend. I kept falling asleep in my AP Physics class for consecutive weeks. |: And with a photo shoot that following Monday plus working for the last week. Shnaps, will I be able to hold up?

Planning and more planning. Before summer ends, I hope to hike around Palos Verdes. It’s about time that I do something active aside from sitting in a computer chair all day. Oh mahn, I know exactly who would love to poke me about that.

I miss swimming and the outdoors. I’ll be needing some adventure time eventually. Hopefully, that sleepover with some friends at my place would push through. I still don’t know how we’re all going to fit into my house. We’ll make it work.

Until then, I’ll dream of sheep. Ah yes, sheep.

Which reminds me of that idea… Do robots dream of electronic sheep?

“It’s so fluffy, I’m gonna diiiiie. D8!!”

And I need to watch Inception, quite so.

White Christmas

A blanket of white covers the wonderful city of Los Angeles. So maybe I didn’t get that white Christmas; the exceptional chill makes up for that. I look around me and Christmas hasn’t been the same ever since I’ve moved to SoCal. None of them Noche Buenas or opening presents at midnight. It certainly isn’t the same.┬áIt’s almost been three years since I’ve lived here. And I’ve got to say that despite the difficulties and the difference in celebration, the true meaning of Christmas still stands.

They say Thanksgiving was the biggest holiday around here. I can’t say that for myself since we didn’t have Thanksgiving back in the Philippines. I still find that Christmas is the most meaningful to me. Digging deeper to its definition, it means more to me than just the birth of Christ.

I’m so thankful that God has brought me this far in life. For so long, I’ve struggled to be perfect in all aspects. Without knowing, I turned away from Him just to push myself forward. How wrong was I? It was true when they said you wouldn’t have realized how far you’ve drifted until all you can see is water around you. Surely, I’m still afloat. Then again, how long can I keep floating? It’s time to return to shore.

Asian Picture FAIL

2009’s coming to a close and I can look back to see its many ups and downs. Some of which I’d love to block out of my mind, but you can’t have a high without a low. Falling in and falling out of love for the first time. Making friendships that I know are bound to last for a lifetime. The news of a very close friend giving birth. So much has happened in one year. Unbelievable how another one is about to start.

That One Friday

All I can do now is look back and wish for the best. I try hard to be optimistic. It’s a lot easier to be positive for someone else. When it comes to me, pessimism bites me in the butt. Time to change that. There’s a lot more moments that I look forward to. There’s no doubt that I’m scared or terrified. There’s no doubt that it’s easier said than done. It’s about time I really get a move on and do something about it, you know? Despite all the previous hardships and heartaches, I believe I can pass this year off as a stronger person. More memories to look forward to, I can surely say that.

I’ve been blogging on the same blog since I was 11 years old. Maybe it’s time for a change, but never will I forget the utter annoyances I had to endure as an early teen or the endless ramblings of school everyday. Hah, I’m pretty sure that might not be any different as to what I’ll be writing here. Anyway, time to start fresh, right? This has been my white Christmas. In all its purity, the memories and love I’ve received makes it up.

Well, would you look at that? The sun’s finally shining through the blank winter sky. It must be a sign. (:

Buried So Deep

i want to scream into a pillow. either that, or i’d just want to keep running, wishing the path never ended. i thought i threw my feelings away. i thought i was getting over it. turns out, i wasn’t. i just buried it so deep thinking that i wouldn’t be able to dig it up again. the irony is that he was the one who unearthed it for me. funny, though, i’m not going through a huge emotional breakdown. this is just one of those moments where you’d consider headdesking yourself for a certain amount of times…hard. in the end, all you can really say is, “well, that sucks. let’s move on.” that is exactly what i’m trying to do. it’s going to take a pretty long time until this happens.

on to the more positive things in life. Aced my Cultural Anthropology class! that’s one class down and one more to go. i had no idea how bored i’d be when one of my classes just ended. two more weeks until Calculus ends. until then, i’ll be drowning myself integrals and infinite series. there’s still hope for me to pass the class. and also, there’s still hope that i can even ace the class. i never thought i’d see the light!

a very special friend of mine just received one, if not, the best gifts in her life yesterday. she gave birth to a little baby boy! i haven’t seen pictures of him yet, but sooner or later, when she’s available, i’ll be able to. i just had this gut feeling she was going to give birth yesterday; she was MIA on my messenger list.

my friend gave birth, two weeks until Calculus ends and a broken heart to boot. i’m feeling like i’m at the crossroads with nowhere to go. i feel like i’m in a dream just hoping to wake up. what i’d love to do is just see the city lights and have time to think and breathe. i’m not making sense anymore.
i’m picking up a book to read and going to sleep. one of these days, i’ll pick up the pieces and my writings will appear quite sensical; only then you’ll know i’ve moved on.

Nothing But Noise

my writing streak has been growing colder than usual. the gaps tend to be larger than what they had been before. and it’s summer for crying out loud! then again, my summers have changed long before i could remember. there isn’t time to breathe anymore. if there is, i’d be doing so subconsciously, meaning in my sleep.

July has been rolling quickly with ever busy schedules. on the weekdays, i manage to fill my days and nights with mathematics. Calculus has been devouring me inside and out. after the outcome of the second exam, i knew i should have been pushing harder than before. on the weekends, i’ve got the usual at church. i also managed to squeeze time for people i haven’t seen in a while.

Mark brought Evan, Siyaada and me all over Downtown Los Angeles two weeks ago. even though i’ve lived here for two years, i haven’t exactly seen all the landmarks around here. i don’t know how we did so in one day, but we hit Hollywood, three malls and the Griffith Observatory all in Friday. by the time i got home, i was crazy exhausted.

it’s been so long since i’ve seen the city lights. Griffith Park was just icing on the cake. as i saw the view from the top and looked into the distance, everything was just nostalgic. i wish it was quiet though. it would’ve been the perfect place to sit and think, which i haven’t done so in a long while. there isn’t a place to be silent anymore. all i hear is noise.

last Friday, i had my first gig, which i was set up for last minute. thank you very much, Alden. |: i was intensely terrified but i managed to pull it off. my set was Wine Red by The Hush Sound, Reaching by Jason Reeves and my original called Captivated. i was shaking to the core. i didn’t realize that people started getting into it by the time i sang my second song; they clapped to the chorus. awesome yet scary.

i didn’t know how the day was going end up being. one thing was sure though; i made new friends and listened to new music. The Streetlight Kids and These Autumn Nights, i’m digging your style. (:

with Alden, Clark and Stephanie, we had dinner in Mitsuwa and got lost in Palos Verdes all the way until midnight. saw the stars and city lights on the hill. a time of talk and chilling. (: by the time i got home, it was two in the morning. i haven’t been out that late since prom. i yearn for more nights like that.

and now, i bid you adieu. back to the noise, back to the homework and back to reality. i need my escape.