Tomorrow will be a day of many lasts.
Tonight is just the beginning as I spend my last real night in the OC.
This place has been my second home. College, friends, career.
Tomorrow will be my last day at my first full-time job. As crazy and stressful the last few months were, I’m sad that I’m leaving the most awesome people I could have as coworkers.
To my last lunch adventure and happy hour with the crew.
And yet, it saddens me more that I’m leaving my real home.
Tomorrow night will be the last night I’ll spend in my Torrance home.
The home I grew up in America.
The only home that has seen me at my most vulnerable and naive self.
The place where I laughed, smiled, without a care in the world.
But also the same place where words were thrown and my heart had hardened.
I was 16 when I stepped foot into that house.
I was 18 when my heart broke in the voicemail I left in my room. It was over.
I was 20 when I had the best kickbacks with a group of awesome friends that are now scattered here and there. 2010 was one of the best years of my life.
I was 22 when I realized they will never change. Anger. Pride. Lies. Skeletons in the closet. I stopped trying to meet their expectations after what happened. I started to think more about myself.
I am now 24.
I don’t know if I’m empty, numb, or can’t remember anything. Maybe I’m just trying to block things out.
There’s a part of me trying to remember all the good memories I spent there, yet some of the mess just clings onto them.
Guess I’ll just have to figure what else I’m willing to keep.
To boxes and bubblewrap.