After two or three drafts left unfinished, I think I can finally write a complete post. It’s 2AM and I’m still awake. My thoughts are finally brewing. I’ve been a complete wreck when it came to writing, but hopefully this summer, everything will change. I’ll have that time to find myself again. To build bridges and grow as a person.
School’s finally over. Community College is actually over. To me, it still feels surreal. The three years that I spent in that place which I thought was horrible and dull for the first year and a half didn’t turn out that bad. I vaguely remember the orientation I attended where the speaker said, “You’ll meet people who’ll become you’re friends for life.” And I’m thinking, “You’ve got to be kidding, right?” I was downright miserable and alone. I didn’t see that happening. But it changed. Everything surely did change.
My friends from the class of 2009 graduated and some of them joined me. Later in the game, the unexpected happened. Friends? Who would’ve thought? I surely didn’t.
I began going to MESA thanks to a certain silly japanese guy. That place became my second home. Or my third? Somewhere along those lines. My last year in Elco, I happened to grow close to people that were both intellectual and amazing. Not only was I able to relate with these guys on a nerdy level, but I could hang out and laugh with them as well. I’m blessed to have met guys like Vito, Mario, James, Chris and Yuki. Yep, all guys. What can I say? That’s how it goes when you’re majoring in the sciences.
Sigh. I’m glad and grateful that I’m finally out. I honestly couldn’t have survived my last year without these guys. Being surrounded by these fellas motivated me to try even harder and made me believe that I can succeed. I didn’t think I could get a B in both Physics 1B and 1C–especially 1C–but I did. I didn’t think I’d end up liking Physics, but I did. Thank you. I miss our Physics Study Seshs and Meatball Sundays. Yeah, Sunday nights are definitely gonna be different from now on.
And then, there’s you. There’s you, Yuki. I feel like I’m going through the first week when we started going out. I’m still getting used to it. I remember how insecure I was for the first two weeks or so. One, I still couldn’t believe that you asked me out. And two, I thought everything was gonna go downhill because I was so conscious about how you thought. I didn’t expect you to change. I hoped that you’d change your mind, but I wasn’t keeping my hopes up. But somehow, you did.
Why? Why couldn’t you just come out and say it? Why did you have to let me make the decision? I was sitting there, waiting for you to break my heart. Spring was over. We were going to be over. I thought you were going to do so. But no. You… changed.
I know that you don’t feel the same way I do. Heck, I know I care more about you than you care about me. But there’s something about you, really. Not just your physique, but your personality. You helped straighten me out when I’m rattled. Poke fun at me and still occasionally call me a loser. ]: But when it counts the most, yeah? You’re there.
Why didn’t you leave, Yuki? I was keeping you from doing something you had to do. When I was devastated about my Physics exam, you were there to hug me. You told me not to worry. Sigh, when it counts the most, huh?
I’m getting used to it. It’s hard right now. It’s probably a phase. I’ll look at it as that. Here’s to the transition! I miss you, mister. I’ll see you soon, Bruin.